In God’s ideal order, both partners would be living and thinking about the other more than about themselves. Yet, in less than ideal situations, Peter tells us how a believing wife can effectively reach a nonbelieving husband for Jesus Christ—or motivate a complacent husband to greater spirituality.
Be a silent persuader.
Peter tells the wife that you can effectively reach your husband without a word (1 Peter 3:1). Your husband will not be won to the Lord by telling him what to do, but by showing him what to do. Your actions speak louder than words. You live the godly life, and God will do the saving.
Avoid the temptation to manipulate.
The word manipulate means “to manage or to influence by artful or devious skill; to change something to suit one’s purpose or advantage.” Manipulation will never be a lasting change. If someone is manipulated into doing something, then he can also be manipulated out of doing it.
Avoid the temptation to nag.
A woman will usually resort to this when she feels that her husband is not paying attention to her. King Solomon (who had 1000 wives) wrote, “The contentions of a wife are a continual dripping” (Proverbs 19:13). He also said, “Better to live in a desert than with a contentious and angry wife” (Proverbs 21:19). Nagging will only drive a husband away, not draw him in. Remember to notice what he has done—and not what he has not done.
Watch what you do and say. “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18 NIV).
Cultivate the peace of God in your life.
Peter tells women to not let their adornment be merely outward, but to let it be the hidden person of the heart (verse 4). The J.B. Phillips translation describes it as “the unfading loveliness of a calm and gentle spirit.”
Quiet does not mean lack of noise or activity, but lack of agitation or harshness. It does not mean that a woman cannot differ with her husband. She has a God-given right and responsibility to set her husband straight if he is off course. Instead, it means that she is to cultivate the peace of God in her life. Then, when she speaks, her husband will listen.
Wives, if you follow these biblical principles, you will help to break the ground of a hardened heart.