|
|
ParentingWho is Raising Your Children?
by Pastor Greg Laurie
Who gives your children their values?
Movies and Television, or you? Who shapes thier worldview? You, or the Media? Where do they get their beliefs? Music, their peers, their teachers, or you? God has called parents to be the primary source of influence on children, and the Bible tells us how.
God has given us, as parents, the charge to raise our children in His ways, to "bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4 NKJV). We need to bring our children up, because their natural tendency is to go down. Children and adults are not sinners because they sin; they sin because they are sinners. It came naturally to them, just like it came to you. I never had to sit down with my two sons and say, "Today I will teach you how to sin. Let's start with selfishness. Repeat after me: Mine." I didn't have to teach them, because they already knew how to do it. Just like I knew. Just like you knew.
In his book, Successful Christian Parenting, John MacArthur wisely observed, "Your child's heart is a battlefield where sin and righteousness are in conflict." The world's smallest battlefield is inside of your child right now. That is why our training and influence as parents needs to be hands-on and aggressive, not passive and laid back.
We find this type of parenting described in Deuteronomy 6:6–7, where Moses says, "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up" (NKJV).
Notice that Moses began with, "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart" (emphasis mine). This means that we cannot lead our children any further than we have come ourselves. First and foremost, a parent must have his or her own relationship with God. As Andrew Murray said, "The secret of home rule is self-rule: first being ourselves what we want our children to be." It is hard to train a child to follow a path that parents aren't taking themselves.
This reminds me of the father who was out mountain climbing with his young son. As it became a little more dangerous in their climb, the father was pondering which way he should go. Then he heard the voice of his son behind him say, "Choose the right path, Dad. I am coming right behind you." Our children say the same to us as we chart our course in life: Choose the right path, Mom. Make the right choice, Dad. I am coming right behind you.
Choose the right path and follow the advice of Moses. When you are around your children, take every opportunity possible to instruct them in the ways of the Lord. Teach them diligently, Moses said. In the original language, the word diligently used in verse 6 conveys the idea of one object piercing another. In other words, our goal as parents should be to pierce deeply into the lives of our children and make them keen, sharp, and discerning people.
Our tendency as believers is to want to isolate our children from this harsh world. I thank God for the parents who want to protect their children and be a godly influence in their lives. But I also want to point out that we need to prepare our children to live in the real world. We must understand that ungodly influences will find their way into their lives, no matter where they are. Rather than attempting to isolate our children from these influences, we should prepare them to deal with these things. That is where your godly influence comes in.
For example, when my youngest son wants to watch a certain movie or television program, I will suggest that we watch it together. It makes him a little uncomfortable at times. But my objective is to help him interpret what he's seeing. I will laugh if something is funny. I will enjoy something if it is enjoyable. But when something questionable comes up, I will say, "You need to know what they are saying here. This is the message they are conveying. It is subtle, but this is what they are trying to teach you. But here is what the Bible says. . . ." I want to help him process the information and develop in his mind a biblical way of thinking and reasoning, because I cannot be with him 24 hours a day.
We need to remember that our children are a gift to us from God (see Psalm 127:3). They are not ours to possess. They belong to the Lord. Therefore, we should do everything we can to point them back to Him. They are not ours to mold, but to unfold and discover the unique individuals God has created them to be.
Are you leaving a godly legacy for your children? God wouldn't ask us to do something that cannot be done. Let's do everything we can to point our children to Christ and to treasure every moment we have with them. |
|
 |
|
