TESTIMONIES
by Sgt. Steve Alegre
Santa Ana Police Department
When one talks of their personal testimony, it is often assumed that that there has been a transformation that is final in nature. In reality the transformation is an on-going process. I am a work that is continually in progress, and the Lord is not through yet. I am constantly "under construction". Only God knows exactly when I'll reach that point He wants me to reach.
I have learned that He will keep His promise as given to us in Philippians where we're told, "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it." I have learned to call upon that promise daily, especially when I fall!
Having no father as a male role model, God brought other men into my life from an early age, all of which were police officers. My Uncle Leo was a 20-year veteran with L.A.P.D. My Little League baseball manager, and coach, were both police officers. It's no wonder that I ended up in law enforcement myself.
Spiritually speaking I received no teaching or influence at home as far as the Lord was concerned. In time I began going to the local Presbyterian Church with a family from our neighborhood. Later, through friends of our family, I began attending Catholic Church. There was something about the tradition, ceremony, cathedrals and the "perceived holiness" that captivated me.
For the next several years, I considered myself a Catholic, even though I hadn't yet been formally baptized. I became a "practicing Catholic" for many years. I attended Mass on Sunday's and all the other "Holy Days", as well as observing the sacraments.
Growing up, I believed in God and the Gospel message. There was one problem though. I wasn't willing to change the things in my life that kept me separated from God. I was going my way, with my plans and my moral values. I often asked God to come with me as I went my way. When God's morals contradicted my own, I ignored God's.
The Lord seemed to always bring people into my life that were "on-fire" born again believers. God used them to witness to me, and convict me of my ways. Strangers would greet me on the street, at school, or at work. Many of my friends became born again, and seemed to change over night. They had this "glow", this sense of true peace and happiness that I longed for but never really had.
When they shared the gospel, I would argue— I know! I believe everything you're saying! Why don't I feel like you do? They shared how it wasn't enough just to believe, I had to repent. I had to change my ways. That's when I walked away. Much like the rich young ruler spoken of by Jesus in Matthew 19, I was unwilling to give up my life style.
After becoming a police officer, God continued to place people in my life that shared the truth and their faith with me. My first training officer was an "on-fire" believer. We spent as much time talking about the Lord as we did talking about police work. I loved it.
A girl I was dating at the time was a Christian. She took me to an evangelical outreach in 1982 held at Rain Cross Square in Riverside. Rick Albee from Riverside PD was one of the guest speakers that night, along with Pastor Greg Laurie from Harvest Christian Fellowship.
I was deeply moved by Rick's testimony. After all, he was a fellow officer and a "real cop" at that. He was a person who I could relate to. Pastor Greg's message seemed to sear to the very core of my soul. It was like he knew everything about me in advance and was speaking directly to me. The Lord truly does know us doesn't he?
At the end of the evening, an invitation to accept Jesus was given. I cried and I shook as I sat in my seat. I knew God was calling me forward, giving me yet another opportunity to accept Him as my Lord and Savior. Yet I sat there, frozen in my seat. Why? Because I was a coward. I thought Christianity was a crutch. I didn't need that.
Besides, what would people think? I was afraid of what strangers would think! How stupid! There was that voice in my head saying— You don't need that. That's for weaklings . Yet, I knew God was calling. As we left, I felt totally defeated, ashamed of myself for having given in to my weakness, and my heart became a little harder…
As the years passed, I had fallen deeper and deeper into a sinful lifestyle. My life consisted of parties and women galore. Any sense of innocence once held was long gone. I found myself doing things that even I would have been disgusted by a few years earlier. I fell in and out of several relationships, always looking for something else, never realizing that only Jesus Christ could fill that empty void in my life.
Fortunately, the Lord will only let us stray so far before he pulls the rope in to get our attention. Now, as a single father and having yet another failed relationship, God brought me to my knees. Ever so gently He whispered for me to turn to Him.
Through the witnessing and sharing of a Christian at work, and the wise counsel of a godly police chaplain, I was encouraged to dissect the Bible as if conducting an investigation of it's truth. I read James Dobson's book "Love Must Be Tough" which spoke of God's love for me. Slowly but surely things began to change. A burden of guilt that had been with me for 36 years was slowly dissipating. My music interests were changing. I was listening to Christian radio. The sinful nature was decreasing while the spiritual nature was increasing.
That summer of 1990 was the first year of the now popular "Harvest Crusades". I had been listening every night but couldn't attend due to my work schedule. (Major Narcotics).
Spending most of our time in the Los Angeles area, I was hard pressed to get back to Costa Mesa on time for the event. It was down to the last night. We were just leaving a surveillance case in LA, and I still had time to make it! As I drove to the event, I didn't know that the stadium had reached it's capacity and people were being turned away.
Talk about the Lord's will prevailing! As I arrived, I began walking towards the main gate. While in route, I noticed a side service gate open. Knowing that the event was free of charge, I entered via the service gate. I didn't believe it was dishonest as there was no admission charge, and I did not yet know that the main gates were now closed. Anyway, I was in.
Dennis Agajanian shared his music and Pastor Greg shared his message and gave an invitation to know the Lord. I wasn't going to make the same mistake I had made 10 years earlier. I ran forward and gave my life to Jesus as Dennis sang "I have decided to follow Jesus." That I did!
During the past 8 years, I've realized first hand the spiritual battle that goes on in the unseen world between our enemy and his evil emissaries, and the Lord's Heavenly Host! Becoming a Christian doesn't bring a spiritual playground; it brings a spiritual battleground!
I wish I could say that I've stood my ground and passed all the tests and trials that have come my way. I can't. In fact, I've failed far more than I've passed. Some, I've failed over and over again! But as Pastor Jon Courson recently shared, God won't let us fail a test. He'll give it to us over and over again until we get it right. Only then will we move on to our next challenge.
The great thing about God's tests is that they're all "open book". I am learning that I have a far greater chance at surviving those trials and passing those tests when I turn to God's text book for living, our "how to" manual, the Bible! If only I had learned these lessons a few years earlier.
As I said in the beginning, I am "under construction"! I am eternally thankful that the master builder, the one who created Heaven and Earth also created me. If He can do that, He can surely change me into what He wants! If only I would get out of His way.
Sgt. Steve Alegre,
Santa Ana Police Department
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